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October 31, 2003
Magic bullets
I know a couple of these - Bank of America and Mastercard 800#s both require you to hit zero three times to get a live person on the line - but I've never seen a list before. Brilliant. Escape the voice message loops!
Posted by John at 04:17 PM | Comments (0)
Sharks should learn it's dangerous near the shore
The skipper of the trawler "Erik the Red", a Nordic gent whose moniker is "the iceman", saw a 660 lb. shark swimming toward his men so he jumped in the water, grabbed it by the tail, and dragged it up on shore where he killed it with his knife.
Icelandic author and journalist Reynir Traustason, who knows the trawler captain, said the act was typical of the man. "He's called 'the Iceman' because he isn't scared of anything," he said. "I know the people in that part of the world. They are really tough."
Posted by John at 04:09 PM | Comments (0)
October 28, 2003
Napkin folders unite!
I eat fast. No apologies, there it is. I eat fast. I like food. No excuses. This does, however, frequently leave me sitting at the table while others finish their meals. That's OK, no complaints. But you need something to do, you know? So I fold my napkin. Usually I just fold it into a successively narrower and narrower band, which I can then tie a knot in. Julie, of course, being the designated etiquette enforcer at Casa de Parker (by virtue of being the only female other than the dog, whose table manners leave much to be desired), hates this. However, it could be worse. I could start on the paper plates next.
Posted by John at 12:16 AM | Comments (0)
October 25, 2003
Cubs Demotivational Posters
There's a page full of links of demotivational posters for Cubs fans; I like this one and this one the best.
Posted by John at 09:05 AM | Comments (0)
Light at the End of the Tunnel?
Google is rumored to be looking for investment bankers to take it public. If true, that would indicate that Google's management sees some signs of life and interest in investing in high tech. Google has been been assumed to have been profitable for quite some time, and certainly has the critical mass to support a public IPO, so presumably the execs at Google have been waiting until there was enough tech stock support in the market.
Posted by John at 08:50 AM | Comments (0)
October 18, 2003
Like MySimon or Froogle for books.`
isbn.nu offers a quick way to compare the prices of any in-print and many out-of-print books at nine online bookstores. You can view the results with or without the shipping costs of a single book, and also find the fastest source for a book from ordering to delivery.
Not the most intuitive name in the world. Only bibliophiles are likely to recognize or remember the International Standard Book Number (ISBN) reference in the site's name. And what's with the .nu TLD? Let's make it easy for the search engine: book, books, shop, shopping, compare prices, comparison, stores, tool, utility, books, books, books.
Posted by John at 12:24 AM | Comments (0)
Drifting...
I was reading an article in Wired about drifting, the art of skidding through turns in an automobile in sequence, a controlled slide that keeps the car moving in a direction other than the one its nose is pointed in. And, of course, there's a web site, since the sport has caught on and competitions are underway.
I remember doing this extensively on the back roads of Georgia growing up, particularly the "fire trail" dirt roads to some of the farms up off of Smoketown Road. I also remember my friend David (the same one of pumpkin fame mentioned below) doing this in his brand new Toyota Celica. He skidded into a turn on an access road next to I-95, and hit the gas to spin the wheels as we slid through the turn... it would have been a perfect drift if not for all the sand in the intersection. The wheels didn't bite when he applied the gas, and we just kept sliding through the intersection until the car hit the opposite curb, folding the tires on the passenger side under the car -- right underneath yours truly.
Who knew it would become a competition sport? I guess if curling can be an Olympic event, anything is possible.
Posted by John at 12:16 AM | Comments (0)
October 17, 2003
Julie, this one's for you.
GreatBuildings.com. They say writing about music is like dancing about architecture, which would make creating a 3-D interactive web site about architecture like downloading a whole concerto under a Creative Commons license. Or something. Go! Check it out. Don't trouble your mind with convoluted analogies! Clicky, clicky goodness.
[Hint: If you have the time, do download the 3-D viewing software, and do read the viewing tricks. It's kind of like those 3-D home tours you see on real estate sites, but you're touring a frame model, not a series of linked photographs. While this is weaker than the home tour in terms of realism, it far supasses it in terms of the flexibility you have with the viewing tool. You can actually go exploring in the basement, or zoom up into the clouds for an aerial view of the building.]
Posted by John at 11:38 PM | Comments (0)
Skyhigh Airlines!
"Travel is Expensive. Let Us Cheapen the Experience For You." Skyhigh offers two classes of seating: Bench and Cargo. Highly recommend you click around this site - read the letters from the Chairman, track your lost baggage ("It's out there somewhere!"), book a flight. I know this is a joke site, but it isn't so much made up as cobbled together from the worst aspects of all the existing airlines. Which makes it kind of scary, too. I have been way too close to some of these experiences in my travels.
Posted by John at 11:30 PM | Comments (0)
Surprise, it's the Yankess again!
I'm really sorry to see the Sox go down this year, mainly because I was just in Boston last week, and walking around the streets in the evening you could see guys lined up 4 deep on the sidewalks outside the sports bars, watching the game through the windows. It's great to see that level of excitement and support for the home team.
But, as Aric Egmont said in the paper this morning, speaking as a long-suffering Red Sox fan:
"Every year you know they'll probably lose, but every year they suck you back in, and every year they crush you like a tiny bug."
Posted by John at 11:08 PM | Comments (0)
$50 dollars paid the rent; freaks were in a circus tent. Those were the days!
Electronic Gaming Monthly takes a group of 9-12 year old kids and forces them to play Pong, and Donkey Kong, Handheld Football, Tetris, Space invaders, Super Mario Brothers and the like. The commentary is hilarious.
Brian: What's this supposed to be?
EGM: Football. It's one of the first great portable games.
Brian: I thought it was Run Away From the Dots.
John: I don't see how this has anything remotely to do with football.
EGM: Which team are you playing?
Kirk: The red lines.
Tim: They could've just as easily called this game anything—Baseball, Bowling, Escape From the Monsters.
EGM: Did you score?
Kirk: I bumped into a dot.
Posted by John at 07:52 PM | Comments (0)
October 15, 2003
It's my "short Period 3 gene", that's what it is
Wingnut scientists with nothing better to do (now that they have your sleeping position all figured out) have turned their attention to analyzing genetic differences between people who like to stay up late and those who like to get up early. And they found something. Of course, the level of anaysis and detail in this BBC article is the typical "this thingee over here was kinda longer than that thingee over there, at least some of the time for this minute statistical sample, and we're not really sure what it means but we're pretty sure it's important."
O soft embalmer of the still midnight!Kids, Keelhauling does count toward your Culture merit badge!
Shutting, with careful fingers and benign
Our gloom-pleased eyes, embower'd from the light,
Enshaded in forgetfulness divine;
O soothest Sleep! if so it please thee, close,
In midst of this thine hymn, my willing eyes,
Or wait the « Amen », ere thy poppy throws
Around my bed its lulling charities.
Then save me, or the passèd day will shine
Upon my pillow, breeding many woes;
Save me from curious conscience, that still lords
Its strength for darkness, burrowing like a mole;
Turn the key deftly in the oilèd wards,
And. seal the hushèd casket of my soul.--"To Sleep" by John Keats
Posted by John at 11:56 PM | Comments (0)
Hey! We're all fair and balanced around here.
In the interests of equal time, I would like to point to this movie review from Gregg Easterbrook, senior editor at The New Republic. I have mondo respect for TNR, but unlike Roger Ebert, Gregg just doesn't get Quentin Tarantino. Caustic reviews are always fun to read, even if you disagree. However, Easterbrook loses some steam when he fires off what he surely considers to be harsh criticism:
All of Tarantino's work is pure junk. How can you be a renowned director without ever having made a film that's even good, to say nothing of great? No film student in 50 years will spend a single second with a Tarantino movie, except to shake his or her head.
O...K. I guess if I wanted to be a film student, I'd find that quite alarming.
Posted by John at 11:33 PM | Comments (0)
October 14, 2003
Bert the Turtle goes to Syria
Israel has modified American-supplied cruise missiles to carry nuclear warheads on submarines, giving the Middle East's only nuclear power the ability to launch atomic weapons from land, air and beneath the sea, according to senior Bush administration and Israeli officials.
Note to Syria: Duck and Cover!
Posted by John at 09:23 PM | Comments (0)
October 13, 2003
Better schedule this now!
Get out your dayplanners, October 24th is Take Back Your Time Day. I was thinking about this (again) yesterday, when we managed to escalate the stress levels around our house over scheduling - and over-scheduling - of events and activities. Of course, since I travel a lot, Julie and boys bear the brunt of those difficulties. My work-related scheduling problems and stresses are -mostly- mine alone, but of course that means I'm not here to help with the whole other set of home- and school-related scheduling problems and stresses. Too much. Everybody's in agreement that something has to change, but nobody's clear on what, how or when...
You should scroll down and read the commentary. Note, for example:
Remember those science classes we had in high school when we talked about how the age of automation and the power of computers was going to raise our productivity so that we would enjoy a quality of life our parents could never have even dreamed of? What went wrong?
Posted by John at 10:27 PM | Comments (0)
Sir Mix-A-Lot - Baby got Back (in Latin)
Of all the problems I have encountered this day, none are quite so fascinating as the translation of Sir Mix-A-Lot's biggest hit into Latin. Many unexpected obstacles arise, to wit, in the line "shes got it going like a turbo 'vette":
All right, how would you say "got it goin' like a Turbo 'Vette"? And what exactly is "goin'" here? I have chosen to understand that the unnamed woman's extraordinary callipygy has inspired a primal response in the narrator, rather than that she "has got it goin' on," i.e., that she "is all that" -- although the later lines (not included here) concerning Fonda's Honda and the speaker's anaconda can, ultimately, be invoked in support of either interpretation.
Posted by John at 09:36 PM | Comments (0)
We are so far behind the rest of the world...
We ARE behind, at least in cell phone technology. South Korea is now beginning to use them as debit cards. 300,000 point-of-sale devices to "read" the cell phone transmissions have already been installed, and by year end S. Korean Telecom officials estimate that 75% of all retail outlets will have this in place.
SK Telecom, the country's largest mobile phone operator, says it has sold 280,000 phone handsets capable of carrying the payment chips - although only about 30,000 customers have inserted them. KTF says it has sold 400,000 payment-capable phones but has only 20,000 subscribers.
Go to the checkout counter, type in a code in your cell phone, and point it at the register. For small transactions like vending machines, a code isn't even required. Just walk up, point your cell phone at the Coke machine, and get a cold drink.
Sookmyung Women's University has also enabled the technology to allow the students to use their phones as identification cards.
The phone's "hot key" can open doors and parking lot gates on campus, register for courses, borrow books at the library or post notices on the campus Web site.
Posted by John at 04:09 PM | Comments (0)
October 12, 2003
HEY NICK!
Posted by John at 12:32 AM | Comments (0)
October 11, 2003
Ebert on Kill Bill
I think Roger gets it. I mentioned back in January that I suspected Kill Bill would be the best movie of 2003, but maybe Quentin Tarentino's gone too far down his own particular experiential road for it to be the box office smash it could be. Plus I didn't know it was going to be split into PartI/ Part II, which is kind of lame, although Part II is supposed to be coming in February, which is only a few months away.
Reading Roger Ebert's review, it sounds like QT is in full-on movie geek mode, trying to out-Matrix the Matrix II. Roger's take on it may be a bit too academic and pretentious for the kind of gut-level thrill ride QT is offering, but with elements of spaghetti western, kung fu, anime, the woman-victim revenge theme, Japanese Yakuza movies, it's classic Tarantino (can we call it classic if the guy only has three major films out?).
Look at the soundtrack! (Shown below.) The Pulp Fiction soundtrack is awesome, and this one looks even better. The RZA hip-hop mastas in the same soundtrack with Isaac Hayes doing "Run Fay, Run"?? (That one is from the movie Three Tough Guys, an Italian blaxsploitation film -- talk about your mixed genres! - from the mid-1970's starring, I think, Isaac and Fred Williamson...) Uma Thurman at one point is wearing the same suit that Bruce Lee wore in his final movie appearance. Are you starting to get it? This isn't about the plot, it's about the movie as an entertainment medium. I'm sure I'll be "getting" his movie links and references for weeks to come. (I have also heard that there's a QT movie trailer on the soundtrack CD - as opposed to a movie studio-approved movie trailer - that kicks butt).
This movie looks like it's basically snippets of everything QT thinks is cool. I'm sure it will be panned by "Mothers Against Excessive Violence in Movies" or other such groups, the PTA, churches of all denominations, the Rotary Club and the like, and I think that's too bad - they just won't "get it". This is comic violence, blood and guts and gore as the backdrop to an unfolding epic movie drama.
I really wanted to go see this today, but ferrying kids around to meetings and projects and team dinners and friends' houses made it impossible. Sigh... tomorrow? Maybe after Nick's crew race up in Sacramento, he'll be up for a birthday movie!
The soundtrack:
1. Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) - Nancy Sinatra
2. That Certain Female - Charlie Feathers
3. The Grand Duel (Parte Prima) - Luis Bacalov
4. Twisted Nerve - Bernard Herrmann
5. Queen Of The Crime Council - dialogue excerpt from film featuring Lucy Liu & Julie Dreyfus
6. Ode To Oren Ishii - The RZA
7. Run Fay Run - Isaac Hayes
8. Green Hornet - Al Hirt
9. Battle Without Honor or Humanity - Tomoyasu Hotei
10. Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood - Santa Esmeralda
11. Woo Hoo - The 5.6.7.8's
12. Crane/White Lightning - The RZA/Charles Bernstein
13. The Flower of Carnage - Meiko Kaji
14. The Lonely Shepherd - Zamfir
15. You're My Wicked Life - dialogue excerpt w/ David Carradine, Julie Dreyfus & Uma Thurman
16. Ironside excerpt - Quincy Jones
17. Super 16 - Neu!
18. Uakuza Oren 1
Plus, the following 4 samples of fight score from the movie:
19. Bannister Fight
20. Flip Sting
21. Sword Swings
22. Axe Throws
I don't usually write about movies at all, much less movies I haven't seen yet, but I'm excited about this one, and now the soundtrack looks like a "must have" as well.
Posted by John at 11:55 PM | Comments (0)
Just in time for Halloween
ExtremePumpkins.com I remember my friend David Goulla hosting a Halloween party down in San Diego maybe 15-20 years ago (!?) and we carved a pumpkin face screaming and planted a hatchet in the top of it. Then we dragged the pumpkin guts up and draped them over the side of the pumpkin like brains leaking out of the wound. Sort of a cross between this and this. I really like the idea of using road flares to light them up, too, even if it only lasts for 15 minutes or so.
Posted by John at 02:27 AM | Comments (0)
Good idea... Bad idea...
A Wharton professor of legal studies has published a paper that reaches the startling conclusion that it is not good business practice to sue your customers. They tend to resent it. The RIAA is the case in point for this ground-breaking piece of theoretical analysis, supported by historical anecdotes of companies in the past which have sued their customers, and who in turn didn't like it then either.
Posted by John at 02:13 AM | Comments (0)
October 08, 2003
The Governator
The wisdom of the people must, from time to time, be questioned. This is one of those times.
Posted by John at 03:03 AM | Comments (0)
October 07, 2003
Our friends Kenny and Cheryl
Our friends Kenny and Cheryl took Colin up to their vineyard in the Alexander Valley over the weekend and put him to work for a couple of hours. While Colin enjoyed it, I think he quickly learned an appreciation for the amount of work involved in picking grapes. Cesar Chavez is his new hero.
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Posted by John at 01:27 AM | Comments (0)
Keep your corporate email clean!
You want to know why? Take a look at some of the 1.6 million internal Enron emails that are now posted on the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission website, and you begin to understand just how public your comments could become. The search engine (ICONECT247) is powerful if a little buggy, so you can go right to the interesting stuff!
From: Yoder, ChristianThis one got front page mention on the Wall Street Journal today, so expect the database to be slow for awhile.
To: DL-Portland World Trade CenterSent: Tue Dec 18 19:12:23 2001
Subject: Lunch on ThursdayFriends and Co-Workers:
You are hereby cordially invited to a pre-holiday office lunch this Thursday at approximately 11:30 a.m, courtesy of the Trading Attorneys.
LEGAL NOTICE: Christian Yoder and Steve Hall (hereinafter "we" or "our" or "us" ) intend to pay for the food (which will probably, but not necessarily, be pizza and salad) with post-petition Chapter 11 salary dollars that have already cleared our respective individual bank accounts and, therefore, by joining us in the meal ("Lunch") you will not be exposed to any retroactive claw-back risk by way of the Cash Account Committee. We are also investigating the possibility of providing a limited quantity of a certain kind of beverage ("Beer") under a provisional waiver of the defunct pre-petition Company's drinking policies, subject to approval by the Estate's Liquor Control Board which is being sought on an expedited basis.
We feel like making this modest holiday gesture for several reasons:
1. It has been a pleasure working with you all during the past year.
2. We are optimistic about this office's prospects in the upcoming year.
3. American Express forgot to cancel our Corporate Cards.We hope you will join us for a free lunch as we look forward to a prosperous New Year.
Christian and Steve
Posted by John at 12:44 AM | Comments (0)
Indicators of the Signs of the Apocalype #1
Interesting email from Nick (thanks!) calling attention to the flaming dog as another possible sign of the impending apocalypse. However, while there are many interesting Bible verses pertaining to dogs, and quite a few regarding flames, there's no mention of flaming dogs.
There is, of course, the legend of Cerberus, the monstrous three-headed dog guarding the gates of hell, but not only is that not apocalyptic, he's not on fire. There is, in Germanic legend, an Eddic poem, Helreith Brynhildar, which mentions the hrot-garmr, 'howling dog', which stands for fire and in this case refers specifically to Brynhild's funeral pyre. In fact, dogs - or wolves - are well established in mythology as guardians of hell, and hell is of course widely associated with fire. A little research into the topic reveals extensive linkages between werewolves, hellhounds, LSD, Beowolf, ergot and St. Christopher. But I digress... As Bruce Lincoln says in Death, War and Sacrifice,
The essence of the hellhound is his intermediary position - at the border of this world and next, between life and death, hope and fear, and also (given its pairing with the dog of life) between good and evil. For this role, the dog is perfectly suited, being the domestic species par excellence, the tamed carnivore who stands midway between animal and human, savagery and civilization, nature and culture.See? This is what happens when you start researching things on the Internet. Enough for now. The moral of the story? Keep the dog away from the car exhaust!The growl of the hellhound is yet another expression of this liminal position, for the growl is a halfway station between articulate speech and silence. It is a speech filled with emotion and power, but utterly lacking in reason. Like death itself, the hellhound speaks, but does not listen; acts, but never reflects or reconsiders. Driven by hunger and greed, he is insatiable and his growl is eternal in duration. In the last analysis, the hellhound is the moment of death, the great crossing over, the ultimate turning point.
Posted by John at 12:15 AM | Comments (0)
October 02, 2003
Signs of the Apocalypse #3
It's raining frogs in Connecticut.
Posted by John at 10:31 PM | Comments (0)
Poor Clare's Galway
"Behold, we are but four score young maidens between the ages of sixteen and nineteen and a half."
Well, not really, but they'd get more website traffic if they paid me to do their advertising. These nuns live in isolation, residing within the confines of their monestary and usually only interacting with people through the iron bars of the gate. From the site: "There is a 6 year formation programme before you make your solemn vows for life. During these years the candidate is helped to discern if this way of life is for her before making the final commitment, at which time a ring is put on her finger to seal her union with Christ."
And now, The Poor Clare Sisters of Nun's Island in Galway, Ireland have a website.
Posted by John at 12:06 PM | Comments (1)
dumdadadumdum dumdumdum dumdadadumdum dumdumdum DA-DUM
Straight from Q's lab, here's the 007 cigarette lighter camera, complete with video mode, audio recording mode, surveillance mode with interval recording, and the ability to use the embedded storage space as a portable disk drive. Don't let the fact that it doesn't actually work as a lighter or that the picture resolution is a crappy 640x480 bother you, it has 007 engraved on it!
Posted by John at 11:38 AM | Comments (0)
Streatham Cemetary: a videography
Check out this very nice selection of seasonal pictures of the Streatham cemetary. The artist/ photographer/ videographer/ web site designer, Jonathan Clark, has done an excellent job of incorporating motion into the photography, and combined with the background music it creates a mood all its own. [via gaijin.com]
Posted by John at 02:49 AM | Comments (0)
Flashy Fun
World's Smallest Pacman game and Flysui - Catching Flies with Chopsticks. Remember Mr. Miyagi say, "Man who catch flies with chopsticks can accomplish anything."
Posted by John at 12:58 AM | Comments (0)
